I. Foundation
   A.  No legitimate scientific study has proved a person is born homosexual

   B. There are many testimonies of men coming out of homosexuality.

   C. Informed disapproval does not mean “homophobia”.

   D. There is no such creation as a "gay" or "homosexual" person.  A person can be a heterosexual with homosexual tendencies-there is only homosexual attraction and behavior. Homosexuality violates nature. A person has all the “tools” and is fully heterosexual.

  E. Homosexuality, at its root, is not a sexual problem―it is a gender-identity problem. Accordingly, there can be no change from a sexual identity that never existed in the first place.

With the above foundation, here are some interesting facts. This information is based upon information gathered from counseling with male homosexuals.

II. Gender Identity Phase (1-1/2 to 3 Years Old)

At this age a child is narcistic, has grandiose thinking but is infantile in knowledge.

• Androgynous Phase-the child wants to be both male and female-this is ok at a very early age.
• As the child gets older they realize they have the same body parts as dad so they start to have masculine strivings―disindentification from mother and identification with father
• Father needs to teach son that danger can be fun and that at the same time daddy can be trusted. (Daddy throws son up in the air and then catches him. Son gets scared when thrown up, but laughs when caught).

Symptoms of those that are not encouraged and allowed to have masculine strivings when they are young.

• Shamed for trying to be male so anticipate to be hurt by males (causes them do not connect with males in a healthy manner) and fear of females manipulating them (not attracted to females).
• Homosexual men do not trust men, especially homosexual men.
• Almost every homosexual man does not value his father.
• Almost always have a fear or hatred of an older brother.

III. The Classic Triadic Relationship

Mother-Overly emotionally involved, dominant, strong personality

Father-Quiet, withdrawn, nonexpressive and/or hostile

Son-Temperamentally shy, timid, introverted, artistic, imaginative

IV. Latency phase (5 to 12 years old)

   A. If  triadic relationships are occurring at an early age the boy will be submissive. At an older age the boy will be rebellious.

   B. Can’t identify with physical maleness-extreme modesty

   C. Sexual abuse in 1/3 of clients.

D.     Poor peer relationships

E.      “Kitchen-window boy”, not allowed or able to play with other boys.

   F. Cross-Gender Behavior

• “Sissy-boy syndrome” or gender nonconformity
• High prediction of adult homosexuality, bisexuality or transgenderism

   G. False Self-“The Good Little Boy”-being overly submissive

   H. Mother and Father have poor communication.
    I. Mother and Son have special relationships

    J. Father and Son have guarded, ill-at-ease, antagonistic relationship

   K. The Physical Nature of Homosexual Development

• Alienation from the body
• Excessive modesty (boyhood)
• Exhibitionism (adulthood)

V. Adolescence  (12 to Adulthood)

   A. Hormones start to kick in. Sexual attraction starts to develop, which can bring confusion if previous factors are occurring.

   B. Every culture has rituals for boys to become men. If boys are allowed to boys that become men, then there is a gender identity crisis.

   C. Boys need to connect with men in a healthy manner.

D. What happens if there is failure of male connecting in a healthy manner and puberty sets in.

·        Constantly looking for a totally masculine man to model

·        See a naked mature man and want to be that way-this is ok when growing into puberty, but becomes a fixation and erotic when wrong conditions

VI. Erotic Transitional Phase-Homosexual Behavior as Reparative Drive

Same-sex behavior is an attempt to “repair” childhood emotional hurts

VII. Associated Features of Male Homosexuality

• Male gender deficit
• Problems with assertion (sexualization of aggression)
• Detachment from men―anticipation of rejection
• Constantly looking for a totally masculine men-one of the reasons it is so popular for homosexual men to work out, show off their masculine body.
• Search for maleness

• Promiscuity
• Short-term relationships

VIII. Action Steps

   A. Identify “at-risk” children, adolescents and young adults 

B.     Be concerned about boys who are:

·        Showing signs of gender-identity confusion

·        Lonely

·        Feeling like they don’t fit it

·        Alienated from male peers

·        Lacking close relationship with fathers

IX. Summary
If in younger years boys are not able to connect with their father, ‘practice’ being male, and live in a home with a controlling, possessive mother, they have the potential to become homosexual.

One of things that men coming out of homosexuality need is healthy male heterosexual friends that they can trust. They need to learn how to connect with their masculinity in an appropriate manner.
 

Here are some Steps to Freedom from Homosexuality
1. Come to an understanding that homosexuality is a gender identity issues, not a sexual issue.
 

2. Acknowledge your need of God’s help to be healed from childhood and other experiences.
 

3. Be accountable to someone you respect and trust.
 

4. Find legitimate, healthy ways of meeting unmet needs.
 

5. Develop healthy friendships with heterosexual men who understand your struggle.

6. Repent from unforgiveness, negative vows and judgments.
 

7. Most importantly, allow Jesus Christ to be the Lord of your life and best friend. 
How to Become a Christian
 

If you live in the Capitol Hill area we have a family that lives in Capitol Hill that would love to be an encouragement to you. Pastor Richard and Carmi Dover have a cell group that meets on Thursday nights. Give them a call at 206-860-2945 or e-mail them.

"The Condition of Female Lesbianism"